


He’s….

by Chelsea072498



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Fluff, Reader Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 18:41:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelsea072498/pseuds/Chelsea072498
Summary: Dean has lost his memory. Y/N takes him to a place where he thinks he may remember his life.





	He’s….

## He’s…

 

“(Y/N)?” He calls when you open the door. “Is that you?”

“Sorry to disappoint, John.” You walk into the kitchen. “I know you were expecting one of your many girlfriends.”

He turns from the stove, a huge smile on his face. “Tina, Jackie, and Olivia came and went already. It was wild.”

“I bet.” You love the joking. You walk to him and kiss him softly. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, (Y/N/N).” He looks at you. “I promise.”

“You’ve had nightmares for weeks.” You bite your lip. “Dr. Mitchell help at all?”

John sighs. “Not really. He’s pretty sure that John isn’t my name. I told him that I was pretty sure of that myself.” He turns to you, his beautiful green eyes meeting your (Y/E/C) eyes. “John just sounded right.”

“You knew a John,” You’ve had this discussion before. “You also knew a Bobby, a Kevin, Lisa, Ben, Anna….”

“I keep dreaming about this one man. He’s tall. Long hair. I feel like he was really important to me….”

You swallow. “A boyfriend? A lover?”

“(Y/N)….”

“John, you woke up six months and couldn’t remember your name, where you came from, or how you got hurt. There’s no reason not to believe this man wasn’t someone…”

“He wasn’t. I can tell. I see him in my dreams and I feel protective of him. Like it’s my job or something.”

You think about it for a second. “Maybe he’s family.”

John shakes his head. “I don’t know.” He looks at you. “How did your meeting go?”

You shrug. “Well, not great. It’s a good thing I was already looking into other jobs. I didn’t get fired, but it’s been implied that my performance at work has not been what they expect.”

“My fault?” John looked at me with a smile.

You laugh. “Sometimes. You have a habit of waking me up in the middle of the night. I do enjoy it, but I drag ass the next day.” You look at him. “I’m taking some vacation time. I’ve earned it and I have to take it before next month. I’m off the next two weeks.”

John sits next to you. “You haven’t taken a day off since I met you.”

“I haven’t taken a day off in three years.” You tell him. “I was thinking we could be lazy for a few days and then….”

“Maybe….” He starts and then shakes his head. “Lazy sounds good.” John works odd jobs in the apartment building. Your landlord was impressed when he was able to fix an electrical problem easily after she’d been quoted a ridiculous amount from the repairman she normally used. “I can tell Miss Alice I’ll be available, but we’re taking some time for ourselves.”

“Actually, I was thinking that Monday or Tuesday we’d take a trip.” You see his face. “John, you talked about Lawrence, Kansas, and another place in Kansas. You dreamed about them.”

“(Y/N), do you want me gone?” John looks at you. “You and I met during a really strange period for both of us. You didn’t have to invite me to stay here.”

“John,” You kiss him. “I love you. I love you so much. I’m just scared that there’s something or someone I’m keeping you from. I’m worried that you may have a family who is worried about you.”

“I love you too.” He touches your face. “If I have a family, and I don’t remember them, that’s going to make things harder for everyone. Damn it, (Y/N), I’m happy here with you.”

“What if you have children?” You look in his eyes. “What if you have a wife?”

He looks down. “I guess I’d like to know.” He takes a deep breath. “My life is with you now.”

“I want you here.” You look into his eyes. “John, I don’t want to lose you. I just don’t want you to wake up in the middle of the night and remember there’s someone you love somewhere else. I know you well enough to know that if you had kids, they were your whole world. You need to know if you do.”

“I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t. Things may change a little if we need to adjust to something, but I’ll always be here.” You promise him.

“It was Lebanon.” John tells you. “Lebanon, Kansas.” He takes a deep break. “I feel like we should start there.”

~*~

A few days later, the two of you are in a motel room just outside Lebanon. John is restless. He hasn’t stopped pacing.

“Babe?” You change your shirt. “There was a bar just down the road. Let’s go get a drink and something to eat. We’ll start looking around tomorrow and see if anything is familiar.”

He nods, his green eyes looking at you with love and concern. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

“Are you sure you want to?” You are now doubting this. You want John to know who he is, but you’ve realized that if he’s married, or has a girlfriend, or children, or his family is here, he may want to stay.

“I need to know who I am.” He kneels in front of you. “(Y/N), I look at you and I feel something I suspect I’ve never felt in my whole life. I need you. I’m not going to lose you. I can’t.” He kisses your hands. “I need to know who I am. I need to know what I was before my accident.”

“What you were?”

John looks away. “Some of my dreams are terrifying. I can’t imagine that really being the life I was living, but if it was, I want to stay away with it.”

You don’t pry. John will eventually tell you. He’s told you everything he remembers, in his own time. You kiss him softly. “I love you no matter what.”

“I love you.” He smiles. “Food and beer sounds good.”

From the moment you walk into the bar, you know. John’s grip on your hand tightens. He looks around and you see a couple of people look at him, almost surprised to see him there.

“Hey, you!” A busty brunette walks by. “Long time no see!” She looks at you. “I see why.”

John nods at her. He seems to think she’s familiar, but when you look at him, he shakes his head slightly. He holds your hand and walks you to the bar.

“Well look who decided to come back home!” The bar tender smiles. “Dean Winchester, it’s been too long!”

Dean Winchester.

You see his face and he smiles slightly.

His real name is Dean Winchester.

“Yeah, it’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

You decide to help him out. “I’m (Y/N). His girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” The bar tender looks surprised. “Never thought I’d see the day you’d settle down, Dean. She’s a pretty one too! I’m Colin.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” You smile at him.

“I’ve got your whiskey here.” He pours two shots. “It’s on the house tonight. Welcome home, Dean!”

You and John-Dean, you remind yourself. His name is Dean-take the shot glasses, and toast each other softly. You down yours quickly.

“Sam and Cas were here last night. He said he hadn’t heard from you at all. I’m guessing you haven’t talked to him yet.”

“No, not yet.” Dean’s face was almost unreadable. “We were just stopping in for a couple of shots and then planned to call it a night. It’s been a long drive.”

Colin studies his face. “Well, don’t be a stranger. You either, pretty lady!”

“Thanks,” You hold your shot glass up to him and down it. “I believe that’s enough for me.” You smile at Dean. “If you want to stay for awhile….”

“No, (Y/N/N).” He takes his wallet out, but Colin shakes his head.

“Mr. Crowley wouldn’t want you to pay. Dean, you know that.”

“Crowley.” Dean says the name. “Yeah, well, thanks, Man. We’ll be back. Tomorrow most likely.”

Outside, you look at him and smile. “Dean Winchester.”

“I….I wondered.”

“You heard the name?”

“It’s come to mind a few times. I just…I don’t know. John must be someone important to me, like we talked about.”

He is holding your hand as you walk back to your room. He leans over and kisses your cheek. You look at him and smile, hoping that knowing his name will help him in some way.

Suddenly he stops. “Oh, Baby.”

He’s staring at a car.

“John…Dean…”

“That’s my car.” He says. “Baby. 1967 Impala.” He walks to it. “I don’t know how I know this car, but I know her. She’s my Baby.”

“You call a car Baby?” You ask. “Dean Winchester, you just so much more interesting.”

“Who’s been driving her?” He asks. All of a sudden, he’s a little different. “Oh, Baby, I’m sorry. I have no idea who douched you up.”

“Honey, I…” You stop. This car was obviously special to him. “She’s a beauty.”

“Yeah, I guess Sammy’s been doing an okay job….”

“Sammy?” You look at him. “Dean, are you remembering something?”

He stops. “I….I don’t know.” He looks at you. “Sammy is my brother. I know that. I gave him the car for some reason.”

You nod, slowly. “Okay, this is good.” You take his face in your hands. “Coming here was good.”

He looks in your eyes. He looks like his heart is breaking. “Let’s get out of here. Let’s go home.”

“What? No! You’re so close to having answers, Dean.”

“(Y/N), things from my dreams are starting to come together. It ain’t all back, but there’s a lot….” He shook his head. “We have to leave. Tonight.”

“But if the car is here, that means…”

“Dean?”

You turn and see two men looking in your direction.

Their faces tell you one thing.

They are shocked.

“Dean?” The shorter of the two men steps forward. “You’re alive?”

“Alive?” You look at Dean.

The other man is tall, longer hair…Sammy.

“We thought you were gone.” He says. “Dean, we thought you were dead.”

“I might have been if (Y/N) hadn’t found me and called an ambulance.” He looks at you. “I woke up and couldn’t remember anything.”

“And you do?” The other man has a trench coat on. “I can help you.”

“Help him how?” You ask. “I’ve been trying for six months. We’ve been here three hours and he’s remembering….”

“Who are you?” The man asks.

“She’s my girlfriend.” Dean moves in front of you protectively. “And no, I don’t want to remember. I’m leaving. You thought I was dead and weren’t looking. I get it and I’m not mad. I’m not going back to that though. I don’t remember everything, but I remember enough.”

“You’re (Y/N)?” Dean’s brother looks at you. “You’ve helped him?”

“I’ve tried.” You say. “When he woke up, the only name that came to him was John. Until a few minutes ago, that’s what I and all the people he’s met these last six months have called him.”

“Colin in the bar recognized me.” Dean says.

“I’m Sam.” He extends his hand to you. “Thank you for taking care of my brother.”

You smile at him. “I love your brother. I didn’t have to really take care of him. He just needed a little help starting over.”

“Starting over is not an option, Dean.” The other man says.

“Cas, cool it.” Sam looks at him. “Just give it some time.”

“Some time?” Dean shakes his head. “I’m done. I’m taking (Y/N) and we’re leaving. We can keep in touch or something, but I’m happy. I have a beautiful woman, a job, a life that has nothing to do with any of this…”

“Normal doesn’t last!” Cas says.

“Leave him alone.” You look at the man. “Don’t you dare….”

Cas looks at you. “Dean is a very important man. He doesn’t need to play house with a woman who spends her days working on ads for products that no one actually cares about.”

You freeze. “How do you know that?” You look at Dean. He’s the only person you’ve ever said that to.”

“Dean, you may not want this life, but (Y/N) deserves to know what this life is.” Sam says.

“No!”

“Yes.” You suddenly feel like you have to know. Need to know. “Please.”

Dean shakes his head. “Sweetheart, no. If you hear this, you’ll run like hell…”

“Dean,” Cas looks at him. “Let me…restore what you haven’t remembered.”

He starts to shake his head but sees your face. “(Y/N/N)?”

“I love you. No matter what.” You tell him. “Dean, I have no idea how this guy can restore your memories. I’m confused. If he can fill in the blanks, let him.” You touch his face softly. “If it can help us move on with our life together…..”

“I don’t think it can.” Dean was fighting tears. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Dean, please. You won’t lose me.” You kiss him. “Please.”

Dean looks at his brother. “We need to grab our things. I remember a place we live around here.”

“Yeah, that would be safest.” Sam says. “Do you remember how to get there?”

Dean starts to shake his head, but then nods. “We’ll be there within the hour.”

An hour later, Dean is parking in front of something you can’t even describe.

You look at him. “You live here?”

“I think so.” He says. He looks terrified. “(Y/N), I don’t want you to come in with me.”

“Dean?”

“I love you. I remember enough to know that I have never loved another woman. I remember enough to know that people I care about get hurt. I can’t risk that happening to you.”

“Too fucking bad.” You tell him. “I’m not walking away. I can’t. If you remember and you really don’t want me around, I’ll leave and I will never bother you again. I will love you for the rest of my life and I will never forget you, but I will leave you alone.”

“Once you know, it’s…”

“It’s my choice.” You take a deep breath. “Let’s go in there and see what happens. I promise you I will leave if you truly want me to after Cas magically makes you remember….” You’re still very confused by that. Was Cas a doctor? Did he have a secret cure for amnesia?

“Okay, (Y/N),” Dean kisses you. “Let’s do this.”

Once inside, Dean walks toward one area and Sam leads you down the hall.

“This is Dean’s room.” He opens the door. “I’ve kept it clean…I just….I didn’t move his things.”

“Yeah, my mom did that when my sister died.” You tell him. You set the bags down. You know you may be leaving very soon though. “Where’s Dean now?”

“In the library with Cas.” Sam looks down. “Cas was going to….”

You nod. “I knew him as John until tonight. Dean suits him better.”

“John was our father.”

“We assumed John was someone of importance.” You smile. “He dreamed of you. He wasn’t sure who you were but he knew you were very important to him.”

“We thought he died.” Sam tells you. “Cas and I moved on with our work. We did what we needed to.”

“He was doing repairs and maintenance in the apartments I live in. I found him in the middle of the street. We assumed it was a hit and run. I was with him every moment I could be and when he woke up, he couldn’t remember anything. I kept visiting and then they wanted to release him. I had a spare room. We fell in love within a month and he’s remembered things. Little things. Names. He’s had dreams.”

“My brother is going to push you away.” Sam sighs. “Not because he wants to. Dean will push you away because he loves you. He’s never loved anyone other than family….”

“He just told me that.” You smile. “I told him I would leave and never bother him again if that’s what he wanted.”

Sam nods. “I hope he doesn’t tell you to leave, but I know Dean.” He looks over his shoulder. “Come on, I’ll show you to the library.”

You follow him through the hall and eventually are led into a true library. You look around and smile. “Babe, you holding out on me?”

Dean smiles at you. “This is your cup of tea, ain’t it?”

You know right away something is wrong. “Dean?”

“I was suppose to die and I didn’t. I was allowed to live but I was never suppose to come back to this life.” Dean looks into your eyes. “I love you, (Y/N).” He kisses you. “I love you so much.”

“I love you.”

Dean takes a deep breath. “I need you to leave.”

His words cause you to gasp. “Dean?”

“I love you more than my own life, Sweetheart. I need you to live a long, happy life. That ain’t gonna happen here, (Y/N/N).”

“Why not?”

“My life isn’t safe.” Dean tells you. “You promised you’d leave. You said you would leave.”

“Dean…”

He kisses you. Your hands move to his face, but he pulls away. “Get your stuff and go. I love you too much to risk your death on my hands.”

“You were suppose to explain things to me.”

Cas steps forward. “Dean, I can…”

“No! Not this time.” Dean squeezes his eyes closed. “Please. I might be able to come see you sometimes. We can keep in touch.”

It is your turn to shake your head. “All or nothing, Dean. I love you. I will walk out of here and I will stay out of your life. If I do that, you can’t pop in and out of mine.”

Dean looks pained. “That’s fair.”

“So I stay.” You smile at him. “You tell me whatever the hell it is that’s going on.”

“You’re too good for this life.” Dean says. “I don’t want to drag someone else down with me.”

“Isn’t that my decision?” You look at him. “You’re scared for you. Not me. I can tell there’s a lot that’s happened to you. I can tell you’re fucking terrified. That’s okay. We can work through this, Dean.”

Dean looks at Sam. Sam speaks up. “All you can do is tell her the truth.”

Dean nods. Sam and Cas leave and you learn the truth. Everything Dean tells you in unbelievable, but by the time he tells you about what happened six months before, you know this has to be the truth.

“Amara agreed to let me live, but I was suppose to start over.” Dean cries. He wipes his eyes. “Except that never works in this life.”

You think for a moment. “What do you want now?”

“I want you, Babe.” He says. “I want to go back to our little apartment and I want the life we were building.”

You smile. “From what you just said, that’s not an option.”

He shakes his head. “No, it’s not.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Dean.” You kiss his cheek where a tear is falling. “I want to stay with you.”

“That’s not an option. It’s too dangerous.”

“It’s more dangerous for me alone, apparently. Besides, you were with me for six months. Anyone who may have realized you were alive might now that.”

“Damn it, you’re right there.”

You kiss him. “I’m going to spend the night. I’ll leave in the morning. Take a few days and spend some time with your brother. You’ll have to come get your things, or I can bring everything back here. We can talk then and figure things out.”

“I love you.” Dean pulls you into his arms.

“I love you, Dean.” You smile. You’d called him John for months, but it never felt right, never fit him. Dean…

“I don’t want you to go, but I’m scared to let you stay.”

“We’ll figure this out in a few days, Baby.” You kiss him. “I’m going to sleep in your bed, with you. I need tonight with you, just in case….”

He nods. “I know.”

~*~

It’s only three days before Dean knocks on your door. His face is unreadable.

“I don’t know what to do.” He tells you. “I should walk the hell away and let you live your life. I know that you hate it here though. You hate your job.”

“But?”

“You aren’t a housewife type, Sweetheart.” He smiles. “You aren’t happy just sitting around watching Netflix.” His smile grows.

“So what are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that I have been miserable for three days and that I may very well regret this, but pack your stuff. We’re going home.” He pauses. “If you want to. If you think you can handle this life. You aren’t going to be hunting. We’ll figure it out, Babe. We’ll get you a place in town….”

“I don’t want a place in town.” You tell him. “I want to be with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“This is all insane. Every bit of it. I believe you though.” You smile. “Maybe there’s something I can do in that big beautiful library you have.”

Dean’s laugh was a beautiful sound. “I’m pretty sure I can find you something there.” He kisses you. “Once you’re in this though…”

“I get it.” You tell him. “And I’m okay with that.”

“I’ll teach you to protect yourself, but you aren’t a hunter.” He looks into your eyes. “Don’t even fight me on that, Sweetheart.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Liar.” Dean winks. “Come on, (Y/N)! We need to get this place packed up. Sam’s downstairs with a Uhaul.”

“A Uhaul?”

Dean smiled. “There’s a really large area we don’t use. I thought that we could use your furniture and make it our place.”

You smile back. “I think that could be arranged, Mr. Winchester.”

“Just remember,” Dean kisses you again. “I love you. Whatever happens, no matter what kind of mood I’m in. I love you.”

“I love you. That’s why I’ll understand when you’re having a bad day. I’ll be there to help you, support you…”

“Dean, we…” Sam interrrupted. “Sorry, Cas called. There’s a case a town over.”

“Damn it.” Dean sighed. “Sweetheart, this…”

“I have to get use to it.” You kiss him. “I’ll start packing. Leave the Uhaul keys for me.”


End file.
